I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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