good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
operation have a gay friend backfired
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize