If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
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I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
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we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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