Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize