You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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