Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize