this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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