Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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