it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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