why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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