I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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