Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
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Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
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Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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