ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize