you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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