I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize