I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize