Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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