I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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