so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize