Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize