walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
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My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize