two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize