So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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