You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
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Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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