I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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