So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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