If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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