apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize