Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize