Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
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The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
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it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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