just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You are the jesus of drinking
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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