When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
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She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
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show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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