Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
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Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize