the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize