Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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