So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
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Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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