Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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