Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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