Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
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I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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