Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
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The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
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WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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