It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
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I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
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So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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