I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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