Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize