I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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