that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
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Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
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