so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize