So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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