my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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