Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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