Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
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high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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