giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
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I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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