well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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